It almost happened...

So this afternoon I was walking home with a girl I'm in class with and who happens to live right around the corner from me. We were having a pleasant conversation about how things are going so far. At one point, our talk shifted to the half-joking subject of our common concerns of "why did this school accept me? Did they send the letter by mistake?" (that's probably a subject I'll go into another time) Anyway, as we neared our respective houses, the conversation went something like this:

Me: I really kinda feel like they checked the wrong box and now they're thinking "damn! he actually accepted our offer." Seriously, I'm wondering why I'm here instead of somebody else.
Her: Well, they probably needed somebody... ... female. But, actually, there's a lot of girls here.
Me: haha... Yea I don't know. Well i'm doing well so far so I guess they made the right choice.
(laughter)


So my thought is, she was going to say "black" but decided not to, leading to that long pause. Maybe i'm being paranoid. It's possible that she was going to say it jokingly but realized she didn't know me that well and racial jokes might not go over with me. Looking back on it, I might have just laughed if she said it. (part of that is the fact that i'm pretty sure i'm here at least in part because i'm black) It's also possible though, that she's anti-affirmative action and bitterly thinks I'm underqualified to be here. I think this is unlikely, as she seems like a really nice person and because almost everyone i've met here is quite liberal (though race tends to make people think in funny ways).

Whatever though. I laughed off what I perceived as a potential misstep, and I think I would have laughed it off if she had said what I thought she was going to say.


I just thought I'd share my first mildly uncomfortable moment here as a result of issues of color.